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Saturday, November 29, 2008

took 26/11 to wake me up

How lazy can one get??? Im not specifically intending to find out but i believe...very very lazy!!! For proof, one only need to look at this blog, it hasnt been fed for forever!!! So many days have passed, so many things have happened yet for someone who just never had the strength to do something constructive, like filling in her blog, keeping an un-digital diary(the old handwritten ones:), life just happened and got over with it as soon as the moment passed. Its a little like the Oral Literature i've been reading up on where theorists say every rendition is a performance, there can be no repetition cos no two performances can be the same. And that single performance only lives in the moment of its performance- is that confusing?- well shouldnt be but enough of this rambling

Now why do i talk of 26/11...or as they say India's 9/11 (though why we should have a 9/11, i dont understand, when we can just have our 26/11)??? The Mumbai terror shook me up from my lethargy, thats why!!

Being such a bum, i dont even sit watching TV since finishing all episodes of 'Desperate Housewives' on DVD except for the snippets i catch on the local channel. So, shamed as i am to say it, i didnt even know anything had happened till the morning of November 27 when i got a msg from a friend telling me to check out the news- this was around 5am. I know the hour was unearthly but this friend who texted had an unearthly task- being one of the NSG officers deployed to neutralise the situation in Mumbai. From then, I've been hogging the TV as tho making up for lost time. And before going on, lemme say, the Indian news channels are great!! They absolutely made it possible for an average citizen, namely me, sitting in this small seemingly unaffected corner of the country to follow that which was rocking the nation out of its comfort zone!!!!

And what a horrific rocking the nation took!!! Every 5 to 10 minutes, i was compelled to switch between NDTV and CNN IBN to see if either channel had something the other might not have yet, to see if the end was any nearer in one than in the other- it wasnt. But pushing the buttons of a remote with one finger was an activity, at least, that offered some kind of relief from the tense monotony of the situation a TV audience found herself in when her country was being raped by a group of well-trained gangsters, when such "remorseless" (Im quoting a Mrco here) guys were waiting to kill anyone who dared to neutralise them- among whom was a loved one- thats how bad it was for me. No, thats not it, it was far worse than that but my vocabulary and creativity just dont get further than this!!!

Now im wide awake- 4 days after the initial attack, breathing again cos the only one i know in the thick of the matter is safe, cos India can say, 'We are not weak, our men ca outdo the best you've trained' and cos I believe the strong sentiments voiced throughout one of the longest hours the country has been through will be translated into some form of constructive action. It has definetely worked on me and my blog- for now!!!!

It reminded me that I am an Indian through and through. It didnt matter that i had small eyes, and the North Indians i was used to in my years of education outside irritated me with their 'Chinky' barbs!!! I was and very much an Indian. And this is the way i gotta stay- no choice ( and if i did have a choice, i genuinely dont know what that choice would be). This Mizo girl has accepted her identity. Love for myself , i think gave way to love for my country, at least for a while back in between those harrowing hours. That is why this multi-coloured nation of people who sometimes dont even care to acknowledge the sameness of its different hues, needs to start learning! Learn to understand that its differences, its colours, are its strength!!!

This was a perfect example of 'tochh rambling' and there's more to come. Im not done with my sentiments yet..but i can hear dinner call..